Letting Go of Desire

I observe that when there is no self, no attachment, then the ways of relating to others is through mettā (kindness), karuṇā (compassion), muditā (sympathetic joy), upekkhā (serenity)[equanimity]. These are not from a self or avijjā. It is not that there’s an idea that ‘I must have more mettā for everyone because I have a lot of aversion and I should not. I should have loving-kindness for all beings. I should feel compassion. Sometimes I just want to kill everybody. I should feel a lot of mettā, muditā, be kind and joyful and sympathetic with people. I should be serene, too.’ The brahmaviharas*, as ideas for a selfish person, are not the real practice. The desire to become someone who has lots of mettā and karuṇā and all that kind of thing is still bhava-taṇhā.

(*the ‘divine abodes’ of kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and serenity [equanimity])

But as the illusions of self fall away, then this is the natural way to relate. You do not become a vacuous zombie through understanding Dhamma. You still relate to each other but it is through kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and serenity [equanimity], rather than through greed, hatred and delusion.

Unselfish human beings, what do they generally manifest in society? You could explain mettā, muditā, karuṇā and upekkhā as that which manifests through unselfish human beings. Then apply that to our own practice now. When there is vijjā – knowing and seeing clearly – then that gives total opportunity for the practice of kindness, compassion and the rest. But it is not me, not mine, not Sumedho, the mettā-filled Ajahn, Sumedho the Good Guy, rather than Sumedho the Urinator. As soon as Sumedho-delusions step aside and cease, kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and serenity [equanimity] can manifest. This is why the human state is a great blessing: when the self-view is relinquished what remains is a great blessing.

Ajahn Sumedho
Excerpted from book – The Way It is

Source: Dhammacetiya

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